Dear son,

So you are thinking you might want to grow up to be a professional drummer.

Go for it.  You should always pursue your dreams, as the vigorous pursuit of dreams brings much happiness in life.

But if you want to make a living, that is, pay for things, live in your own house or apartment, eat and have stuff, you'll need to be strategic about how you build your career.

Your average professional studio musician makes $64,979 a year, at least according to this site.  That's a reasonable middle-class salary.  To make this amount, you'll need to be a truly excellent drummer, able to play flawlessly in any style of music.  And you'll need to be a hard worker, and reliable.  You'll probably also need to live in a major city where studio musicians are in demand.

I do worry that advances in technology will make it easier and easier for studios to simply program realistic sounding drum tracks, meaning that technology may eventually put you out of a job.

You could join a band and tour constantly, building a name for yourself.  At worst, you'll get paid in free beer.  At best, you could work up to playing big festivals and making decent money---from time to time.  Ask our barbers, both of whom have toured in major festivals.  There were moments when they were paid well.  But the money was not consistent enough to keep them touring full time for their entire lives.

When you play a club, a bar, a venue of any type, or produce recorded music for any entity, you will typically be paid a fraction of the money your music earns.

Working for fractions of pennies on the dollar isn't new.  Rush, The Foo Fighters, Pink Floyd...all of the mega-music bands in the last 50 years, made a lot more money for someone else than they ever did for themselves.

If you care about earning money, try to emulate those who profited from the music of the last 50 years.  Spend your time studying capitalism and business in general, in addition to practicing your musical chops.

I suggest you form a band and think of it as a business entity.  In fact, you should make it a business entity if you are going to invest a considerable amount of time in it.

Make sure the roles are clearly understood.  If it's your band and your brand, make sure you protect your interests.

Band members will flake. Make sure your brand (band name and identity) remains yours when they do.  Start out with clearly defined roles and ownership positions.

Make music that appeals to others.  You can play music all day you love but no one else does, but you won't make money.  Respect your audience if you expect to be paid for your efforts.  Give them something that excites and interests them.

Get out and play.  Play anywhere that will let you play while you build your brand.

Control the venue as soon as you can.  When I was younger and played in bands, I occasionally played to crowds of around two-thousand people.  Each person there paid $10 to get in, generating $20,000, and that doesn't include profits made at the bar or merchandizing.  My cut was $100.  This is not uncommon.  Bands are suckers, driven by ego, and they often fail to understand the value that they are producing for others.

Control the venue.  Find a venue, and rent or buy it.   Do your own PR, rent or own the PA and lights, make sure you have staff to control the crowd, have appropriate insurance.  Be aware that hosting a show is an investment and a lot of work.

Do this, and at the end of the night, you'll go home with a lot more than $100.

Merchandise.  This is capitalism 101.  Make stuff at a low cost and mark it up and sell it.  This is how you make a living in America.

Don't ever buy into the dream that some big record label will come along and "discover" you and make you star.  That was always fiction, and now more than ever.

It's up to you.  Roll up your sleeves, work hard, adapt when change is necessary, play well, put on a good show, and you can make a living at this.

But if you want to really live well, you'll need to be more than just a drummer, you'll need to be in the business of entertainment.  Notice the keyword is business.  Considering the business aspects of music doesn't make you a sell out, in fact, quite the opposite.  This is your thing, that you get to do your way.  And if you are smart about it, you can have it all.  You can make the music you love, find an audience, and make a living off it at the same time.

Making a living doing something you love---it's the ONLY way to live.

Good luck!

As an independent software developer who does much of his work using web technology, I thought it fitting to build my own site.

918.software

Applying C++

It's a text book on C++ plain and simple.  It's not even one I used personally.  I believe a friend gave it to me when he gave up on the idea of learning to code.
Why you might want it:

System Analysis and Design Methods

Why you might want it:

Eclipse Rich Client Platform

Open Source ESBs in Action

All of the JAVA-based service bus implementations I worked with were bloaded, configuration-heavy headaches.  But the promise of a Service Bus is compelling to many managers, and they remain in service today at many enterprise companies.  I'm personally not a fan as I prefer lean, best-technology-for-the-job integrations over cross-platform try-to-be-everything-to-everybody ones.

Developing Java Servlets

This is one of the two ways we developed web content with JAVA way back when, the other being those ASP wannabes, JSPs.

I liked this simplicity of the Servlet abstraction.  Let's model a web request as just that, a request.  Let's process the input arguments and then output a response.  Very straight forward.  Java Servlets didn't exactly go away, as they are still buried at the bottom of the JAVA web stack.  Peel back enough layers of code and you will likely find a servlet if you are running a JAVA based web server or service.

I'm guessing though, as I haven't done a deep dive into a JAVA stack for at least five years now.  (Well, there was that integration with VISA, yes, the credit card company.  Talk about a challenging integration...so many layers of security, so secretive about the function of their APIs.)

Programming Amazon Web Services

O'Reily books are fantastic and most will stay on my shelf.  But the information in this book is better found on the web.  It's grown pretty far out of date too.

Programming Flex 2

Web 2.0 Heroes

Managing Raid on Linux

Programming in Python

ModSecurity 2.5

Google Web Toolkit

UML Distilled Third Edition

RHCE 

Spring In Action

ESBs and JAVA configuration frameworks were in vogue when I worked at Vetsource.  I think I already mentioned that I didn't love them.  (Can we get back to programming already?)

JBoss at Work

JBoss at Work?  I'd rather not.  Regal eagle or no.  As mentioned, I grew fatigued with JAVA frameworks during this era.  In fact I did a pivot soon after completing this book, started working with Django, and have been using Python or Ruby to build web systems ever since.

Success with C++

It's a primer from a class I took at TCC.  I actually quite liked this book, or maybe it was just the C++ language that I liked so much.  I'm still nostalgic for C++ programming.  I still occasionally contribute C++ code to open-source projects to scratch that itch.


So where did the books end up?  I donated them at the local Goodwill drop station.  So if you see anything you want, and if you live in the Tulsa area, you might be able to find them at a local Goodwill store!

How do you stay strong?



When you mind is full of memories and you want a do over.
When your body gives way to time.
When someone you love is sick and growing sicker?

How do you believe?

When your faith is tested and is graded an F?
When your hero is revealed to be a sham.
When you've been lied to.

How do you keep moving forward?

When you don't want to know what's around the corner.

You might medicate.
But you won't feel better when the medicine wears off.
You'll be the same, feel the same, struggle the same---except with more lines around your eyes.



You might follow a guru.
And if she's magical, give her my number.
But she's probably not.

You might turn it over to God.
But what does that really mean in pragmatic terms?
That you believe that something you can't see, feel or touch
in a context provided by gurus, chieftains and ancient texts?

If it works for you, this might be a good solution.
For me it's just an infinite series of unanswerable questions.



Death.  There I said it.

Can you face it?

I want to turn and see it, but not embrace it.
I want to be strong.
I want to be able to cope when my parents are dying.
Or God forbid---my children are dying.
I want to feel good as my body is aging.
I want fewer regrets.

So I'm going to write about it.
I'm going to work out even though I don't want to.
I'm going to try to only eat what really nourishes me.
I'm going to keep my mind as sharp as it can be sharpened.

I'm going to muster faith---as much as my heart will tolerate.
I'm going to simplify.
I'm not going to be a Democrat or a Republican or a Liberal or a Conservative or any other stupid label.
Life is too short for that crap.

Damnit, I'm going to be strong.
And I'm not going to be selfish.
And---by God--- I'm never going to eat shellfish.

Tarynn and I are trending towards a life that resembles the actual life of my great-grandparents.  Instead of a maximum square foot home in the suburbs, we prefer an older, smaller house in the city.   The style of our house might be described as urban-farmhouse.  We try to eat natural foods, we garden.  We dream of getting a chicken coup.  (My mother-in-law, who lives next door, has one!)  We try to consume less and create more.

We're by no means trend setters in this area; if anything we're on the same bandwagon as so many others, as evidenced by so many Pinterest boards.



So what's up with this back-to-Grandpa's style of living?  Here are a few of my guesses.

1.  We're burnt out on consumerism

We're tired of buying stuff.  Why are we buying anyway?  Why are we following the instructions of our corporate overlords?  We are we so easily influenced by commercials?  After much reflection on issues such as these, many of us are deciding to step outside of consumption culture.  An alternative reason for some: we're broke and looking for ways to buy meaningful supplies with what money we have.

2.  Technology makes us feel less human

We're so plugged into our devices that we no longer know how to live and interact with each other in meaningful ways.  Getting back to nature, back to history, back to the way Grandpa lived reminds us of a time where phones were not our Gods.  We've tried modernity.  So far it has not provided a life full of purpose.

3.  We want off the grid

There are many reasons we want off.  Some people are conspiracy nuts, preparing for the end of times.  Others want to avoid government and taxation.  Yet others simply want to be more self sufficient.  Some simply want to reduce their dependency on external systems like the gas and electric company.

4.  Ecological concerns

Some of us are in it to reduce our footprint, to produce less waste, or to buy less junk that will become future waste.

5.  We're searching for meaning

This is really a variation on item two.  What does it take to feel good about our daily lives?  For some of us, growing a plant from seed to harvest is the ultimate reminder of our humanity, that we live in an interconnected system of life and death, of food and need.  It reminds us that indeed we are alive and have the natural instincts to keep ourselves that way.

Without the new gear I'd just purchased, I don't even know if Todd and David would have let me join the band.  But they were broke and equipment poor and I was ready and willing to contribute my gear if it would help me achieve my dream.

They'd been working together for some time and had written at least two original songs, one of which was Ministry 6.  Todd had been reading a novel about British spies and the CIA's English counterpart, the MI 6.  The concept thus inspired their first original song and gave them inspiration for a band name: SPY.

Eventually David Lee moved out from Todd's apartment got his own.  I showed up at his place with Todd one early afternoon, keyboards in tow.  I knocked on the door.  No answer.

We knocked again.  Then again.

Finally lanky Lee opens up, one eye squinted shut to to avoid the "morning" sun, his face twisted up like he was sucking on a lemon slice.  No words came from his mouth.  He just left the door ajar and stumbled back inside.

Todd and I came in and put our stuff on the couch.  From where we stood we could see Lee, over the counter top ledge that separated the living room from the kitchen, rummaging.  As was his habit he was wearing the same outfit he had on the night before, typically his work suit, crumpled from being slept in.

David loaded his pipe, lit it up, took a deep inhale and held it.  He slowly exhaled a few seconds later .  Then he repeated the process.

Finally he spoke.

"So," he said.  "I guess it's time to work on some music."

I took note of the CD cases strewn across the table, some open and laying on the floor.  I spotted a few  of my favorites, like Cabaret Voltaire's C.O.D.E. and Ministry's Twitch, which might have belonged to Todd.





David had several disks from the Waxtrax and Netwerk labels, including a few Skinny Puppy CDs.



We got down to the business of setting up our gear, connecting power sources and MIDI cables between the keyboards and sequencer.  David played a sound and said "sick, isn't it?"  He had an uncanny skill of squeezing ugly sounds out of pretty synthesizers.  He pushed a few buttons to change sounds, and found something that sounded a bit like the opening keyboard part from Van Halen's Jump.  He kept clicking on buttons, moving through the sound menus, assigning LFOs, changing waveforms, twisting knobs and altering settings until the patch sounded like the devil's vagina.

The habit and trend in industrial music at the time was to source audio snippets from old movies, radio programs or from conversations recorded on the street.  These would overlay the music.

A radio preacher from an AM radio broadcast made it onto the SPY track Ressurection.

We were searching the dial for sounds during one session at David's when we took a break to listen to community radio station way down on the left end of the dial, KNON.

KNON was not new to us.  A guy named George had a pretty good show called Chicken Gristle that we would listen to on occasion.


I don't remember the name of the show that was on that afternoon, but the DJ said something that caught our attention.

He was talking about the ongoing fund drive, an event that anyone who has ever listened to public radio knows all about.  The DJ was looking for pledges, and talking about the great lengths he would go to get the listeners to call in.  This is what we heard.

"...in fact, maybe you are a musician or are in a band and you are looking for a bigger audience.  If you will pledge at least $10 right now, I will put you on the air.  That's right.  I don't care what your music sounds like, if you will pledge, you can come down to the studio before the end of my show today and I'll play your music."

Todd raised an eyebrow and said, "Let's do it."  He picked up the phone and promised to pay the ten bucks.   (Honestly and regrettably I don't think we ever paid that pledge.)  Todd jotted down the directions to the studio.

---

A half hour later we were pulling up in front of little run down house in what I considered to be a bad neighborhood.  Paint was peeling off the outside.  We walked up to concrete porch and knocked on the door.



A girl opened.  "What?" she said.

We explained what we'd been promised when pledging and she disappeared inside.  A few minutes later she reappeared.  "Yeah, you can come up."

We shuffled up a creaky staircase and through a door that dumped into a tiny room.  We shook hands with the DJ and his pal and he said he'd put us on next.  He invited us to stand next to the microphone.

"...and keeping with our promise of putting on the air anyone who will pledge, we have with us here a new band.  What are you guys called?"

Todd stood forward to speak on our behalf.  "We're called SPY."

"Tell us a little bit about the song we're going to hear."

I can't remember what Todd said next, but before we knew what was happening the DJ took the cassette, put it into the deck and hit play.  And just like that Ministry 6 was playing on the airwaves.

"Holy shit," Todd said smiling.  The DJ nodded and said it was pretty good.

The phone rang and the DJ answered.  He put his hand over the phone and told us, "It's George from the Chicken Gristle show.  He says he likes your song and wants for you guys to come see him during his show on Saturday."


To be continued

Feel like crap?  Body hurt?  Work related stress?

You should try this for five days.  This is what I do when I'm in your shoes.  It's ONLY 5 days...you can do this!

1.  Don't touch alcohol 

Drinking weakens your immune system and messes with your brain's communication pathways, affecting mood and behavior.  And hangovers just feel terrible---duh!  Try going cold turkey for one week.  I know that some of you drink socially all the time; just tell your friends and loved ones that you are on a five day fast and that you'll get back to your wild drunkenness soon.  You want to feel better, right?

2.  Don't smoke anything

Inhaling smoke irritates the respiratory tract.  Didn't you know?  And even though we all know someone who swears by the medicinal benefits of marijuana, it's still smoke and still irritates the respiratory tract.  Just give it up for 5 days.

3.  Go to sleep when the sun goes down

Tonight in Tulsa the sun will go down at 8:38 P.M.  Now this may seem like a ridiculously early time to hit the sack, but in fact, the natural world around you is going to sleep at this hour.  Join the plants and insects and begin your recovery sleep when it goes dark.

Be patient and stay in bed until you get to sleep.

4.  Determine when the sun will come up tomorrow, and set your alarm for 15 minutes later than that time

Some people require alarm clocks.  But if you go to bed when the sun goes down, you should also awaken naturally when the sun comes up.  Make sure there is a crack in your curtain so that the natural light will come into your room to awaken you.  The alarm clock will still be there to ensure that you are up in time if nature doesn't get the job done for you on day one.

5.  Exercise in the morning

Once awake, do the following routine three times at least: 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, 10 jump squats

6.  Say something positive to yourself

I know this is cheesy, but I believe that positive affirmations work.  These will get you started:

http://www.prolificliving.com/100-positive-affirmations/

7.  Eat high nutrition raw foods

Eat some green peppers!  They're nutritionally dense.  Here are some other ideas:

http://authoritynutrition.com/11-most-nutrient-dense-foods-on-the-planet/

8.  Don't overeat

Stay away from big meals that leave you feeling heavy.

That's it!  It's simple: just get your sleep cycle in sync with nature, eat what is good for you, move your body, and avoid putting things into your body that wear it out.  It works for me when I need to recharge.  Let me know if you try it and if it works for you!

The obligatory Green Juice.  Good for you, made tolerable by the two apples.

	Basic Green Juice
	Recipe items
2	Apples, Cameo, U.S. Extra Fancy
2	stalks celery
1	cucumber
6	leaves Kale
1	lemons
1	inch Ginger

Sweet and spicy.  Jalapeno adds a little zing.

I thought Todd Dixon looked like Billy Idol crossed with a pear---if Billy had a spiky mullet. He was a smiler, a drinker, and while he stood there skinny and shirtless in the dirty Texas lake talking about music, beer in hand, I thought we would hit it off. We were both huge Depeche Mode fans both had tickets to the upcoming Music for the Masses tour date at Reunion Arena."You're not going to believe this," he told me, and proceeded to explain that his high school sweetheart had left Texas, become a model, and was currently dating Martin Gore. All the more incredible was the fact that she had invited him and a small group of friends to a meet and greet the band the night before the big concert.

I told Todd how I'd just bought my first keyboard, a Roland sampling S-10, and how I was looking to join a band. He smiled excitedly and told me, "I play keyboards too."

"No shit?" I asked.

I will err on the side of hope.

Why have I been zipping up my git projects with the .git directory intact?  Here's the right way:

 git archive my_branch --format zip -o ../myproject.zip

Creates a zip file from branch my_branch and leaves out the .git files.  Useful for upload to build.phonegap.com.

Ever notice that it's almost impossible to read the dark blue comments on a black background in a Vim file?  What a bitch.

Change them to light blue:

Open ~/.vimrc

Add this line:
hi Comment term=bold ctermfg=lightblue guifg=lightblue


Thanks David C. Rankin!
http://lists.opensuse.org/opensuse/2008-11/msg01212.html

Many of us spend countless hours of our lives on art projects.  There are many reasons to make art.  For some it is about perfecting a craft or technique.  Others make art to communicate ideas or feelings.  Some are simply makers for whom art is a means for either making new stuff or reinventing old stuff in new ways.

We consume or enjoy art for different reasons.  Sometimes a piece simply strikes as a beautiful, unusual, or interesting.  But more often than not, we really appreciate art that successfully communicates with us, that reflects us, or that gives us insight into who or what we are.

Think of the song writer whose lyrics seem to describe you exactly, as if the writer understands you personally---completely.  Or think of the movie or book that moves you to tears.

This is the most successful art, as it satisfies both the maker and the observer.

Most of the art I make is musical, and though I also enjoy writing and drawing, I think my musical efforts are the most mature.  I can tell you that, for me, making art has always just been about play and experimentation.  I find satisfaction in being able to imagine sounds or music and turning those ideas into something audible for others to hear.

The artist who says they don't care if anyone else really appreciates or understands their work is probably not being honest with themselves.  Art is a conversation between the maker and the audience, and it takes two parties to have a conversation.

Art matters.  In it we see human potential.  It's so easy to become disgusted with the world, with the selfishness, the greed, the cruelty, the hatred.  But art reminds us of our better selves, or at least it has the potential to do so, because in it we see the spark that ignites, the seedling pushing up through the dirt, the breath of air that keeps us alive for another few moments.

We're alive, and yet, we for some reason we are frequently unable to marvel at it.  I'm thankful for the artists who spend their hours working to remind us, who serenade and shock us into seeing life for what it is or could be and for who and what we are.

I've spent the last two months working on a PhoneGap app.  In an attempt to keep momentum going even when I'm sleeping, I hired several offshore developers to assist.  Lessons:

1.  Time is not on your side

It takes time to communicate design and implementation details to a third party.  It takes most developers some time to ramp up.  (Okay---all developers.)  I set the expectation that I would be able to build this app in a month because I thought I could build it if I worked on it 24/7, but none of the resources I hired had agreed to such a schedule.  In fact, in my experience, most if not all offshore developers are working multiple contracts and will give you at best a few hours of effort per day.

2.  Good help is hard to find

How do you really know if an offshore resource is quality?  The amount they charge per hour?  Their odesk rating?  No, none of this is a true measure.  The only way to really know what an offshore developer is made of is to give them access to source, assign them a task, and see how they perform.  You can generally tell within 48 hours if you have a keeper or not.  But Lesson 1 is the downside.  I found too many that were not keepers, so too much of my time was spent hiring and testing and then retiring developers that didn't work out.

3.  One offshore trip up can cost you big

Actually I had two offshore trip-ups.  The first, I found a competent PhoneGap developer.  He went to work but didn't check in soon enough.  When he finally did I discovered that he'd changed our whole approach to development, replacing our Twitter bootstrap multi-page based layouts with jquery-mobile and a single-dom layout for the sake of gaining the page transitions.  He'd implemented new functionality, but broke the existing.  Three weeks into the project I was left with two bad options: rewrite several ajax handlers to use the new dom structure and styles and stay with the jquery-mobile approach,  or rewrite his new functions, adapting him to the (three week old) style.

Did I mention that I had told this resource explicitly NOT to add any new libraries without first getting my approval?  After struggling with the decision, I decided to stay with the new approach and fire the developer.  After all, how could I work with a developer who wouldn't follow directions?

The other trip-up?  Giving an "Apple IOS expert" access to your developer account.  Without going into details, I will only say that I spent a week trying to figure out why push notifications were not working on our production system.

4.  Don't fire your only competent developer

After a week of churning through other resources, I couldn't find anyone who was qualified to do the work who was also available.  Oh sure, I found some that said they were qualified.  And I found some that said they were available.  But in the end, they wouldn't work, or couldn't do the work.

Remember the developer I fired?  I rehired him. What else could I do?

5.  Build it yourself

This advice won't help a non-technical manager, but in my case, I faced the reality that no one else could get this done but me.  The fact that I could no longer meet my deadline was crippling for me, as this is not typical for my projects.  Frankly, I shutdown under pressure, which is one of the reasons I ordinarily front-load my projects.  Without pressure, I think carefully, methodically, and with intention.  With time pressure, I have to make bad choices and that's really hard for me to do.  I'd rather not do the job at all than to do it wrong.  But of course, this is reality, and I don't always get to control everything.  So I struggled through.

6.  CSS selectors can be evil

Developers know that css rules are used to style web pages, controlling every detail of the look and layout.  Javascript is the language that does, and javascript code controls most dynamic behaviors, control flow, api communication with the server.

CSS selectors let you chose elements in the DOM (on the page) and manipulate them one way or another.  A CSS selector is like a query tool, allowing you to grab an element by its ID, class or even its ancestors or descendants' ID and classes.

So what happens if you let a resource who doesn't really know javascript, but who is good with CSS styling, update your stylesheets?  Unless careful attention is given to any selectors, the selectors get broken, meaning bugs are introduced.  Any time the DOM is modified post-initial-development, such as the introduction of a new element in the hierarchy, there is a risk (no a probability) that javascript selectors will no longer work.   And the stylesheet rules, which are often hierarchical, may also break, so styling will be destroyed.

This means that you can't really bring a CSS resource back to do more work in the middle of the project.  In fact, you had probably better lock them out once the initial styling is done.

A good best practice for the future:  Lock down the DOM.  Tell your resources it simply can't change without your approval.

7.  Too many cooks in the kitchen

Even when working with competent developers, it's really difficult to collaborate on a jquery-mobile project.  All pages are embedded in single DOM, leading to CSS rules that are more complex than would exist with smaller, dedicated pages.  It's too easy for developers to break each-other's CSS rules.  Some best practices for my future projects:

• With CSS Selectors, prefer IDs to Classes, except in cases where a Class is the only solution (such as selecting every matching element). $(".wrapper .red .spanky .britches") is more likely to become invalid as development progresses than $("#the_britches_element").
• Commit to the completion of HTML, CSS and layout before introducing the javascript and logic
• Consider using a templating engine to reduce code duplication

8.  You can find a good offshore resource

I found a really great PSD-to-HTML resource last year and I really enjoy working with him.  He's responsive.  He does a good job.  He replies quickly.  He does what he says he's going to do.  Going it alone is not the best approach.  It should be possible to proceed as a team, and I'll continue in my efforts to build an effective one.  But throwing together a team to complete a project within one month?  Probably too ambitious.

I'm 45.  I've owned a few 45s.

Here's a short history of the music that made me me.

Though I grew up in the 70's, I didn't hear a lot of Carley Simon or Three Dog Night.  Other than the occasional pop hit overheard while shopping with mom at the ladies shoe store, my typical exposure to music was at church.

The piano and organ were the primary instruments played there.  I sang along to the hymns and played piano after church and sometimes during the week while my dad took care of church business.

In the fourth grade, my Elementary school teacher Mrs. Treat let us listen to her old 45s when we were good---The Beach Boys, The Crystals and Elvis.

My fifth grade music teacher introduced us to Beethoven by playing an disco-instrumental based on Beethoven's Fifth from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.  We begged and she let us listen to the whole album.  I loved it and the The Bee Gees.  It was the first "secular" 8-track tape my parents ever let me purchase.  I played it in the large, wooden furniture-case stereo in the living room.

About that time, contemporary Christian music was popular.  The songs were modern feel, but the lyrics were like the old gospel hymns.

My parents, who approved of this kind of music, started listening to radio station KXOJ.  I remember liking DeGarmo and Key and Kerry Livgren.

Livgren, also a member of the rock band Kansas, released Seeds Of Change as his first faith-based solo album.  His epic styling still sounds good today.  My mom let me buy the Kansas album Audiovisions from 1980, based on premise that Livgren, a good Christian, was in the band.  After listening to all the lyrics, I played it quietly, certain that my parents wouldn't approve of everything I was hearing.  It was my second vinyl purchase, my first a KTEL collection I ordered off TV.  Rapture by Blondie was on it.

7th grade was the first year of my serious flirtation with non-religious music.  I became a fan of Ted Nugent, AC/DC, Journey, Styx, Billy Squire, Van Halen, Queen and REO Speedwagon to name a few.

MTV came to my town in the 8th grade.  A new world opened up.  Devo, Gary Numan, Pat Benatar, Motley Crue, Michael Jackson, Joe Jackson, The Talking Heads performed for me in the privacy of my living room.

That year I listened to a Tulsa based A.M. radio station known as 14K.  New Wave hits were heard there for the first time, most memorably The Human League's Don't You Want Me, long before I saw the video.

By high school I found myself gravitating toward strange bands, in sound or appearance.  Anything with a strong bass line and a synthetic sounding snare drum struck my fancy, songs that made you want to dance.  From Men Without Hats to Ebn Ozn to Dead Or Alive, if it grooved, I moved.

The album with the biggest impact was Depeche Mode's Some Great Reward.  Dark and seriously electronic, it was the first time I couldn't visualize the instruments making the sounds.  It blew me away.

Soon after, I was introduced to Tulsa's punk scene, and with it, American Hardcore music.  The first "punk" record (actually it was a cassette tape) I heard was probably by The Circle Jerks.  I listened to it over at Chuck Upshaw's dad's trailer.

The music was loud, rude and full of energy.  I liked it.  To my surprise, only about a month later, The Circle Jerks came to Tulsa and played a little hole in the wall downtown called 424.  It was my first show of this type and, man, what and introduction.  Skinheads, freaky kids with spiked hair, drag queens, all in attendance.  I was 16.   The next day I started tearing and burning holes in my clothes, ready to join the disillusioned.

I met some other New Wave kids at a teen club called Images.   At teenie-bopper Images, we were considered the punks, the freaks.  But out at the real grungy venues, we were considered wanna-bes. In both worlds,  I was digging the music, from Tears For Fears to Kurtis Blow, from Public Image Limited to The Pet Shop Boys, from The Dead Kennedys to Jermaine Stewart.

I re-watched Steve Martin in The Lonely Guy not long ago.  It was disappointingly not as funny as I remembered, though still worth the watch.  But, WOW, does it remind me of all of the lonely guys I've known.  You know the type: the guy who never recovers from a bad relationship, or simply can't quite figure out how to have a relationship with a woman...even though he really wants one.

Why am I qualified to comment? Well, if nothing else, I know how to get into a relationship.  I'm on my fourth (and final if I can help it) marriage, and there weren't many gaps between marriages where I didn't have a girlfriend.  I may not know much about how to keep a woman...but I do know a bit about how to get things started.

1.  Let Her Go

Dude, she's gone.  I know you were so happy, so complete when you were with her.  But that was a long time ago (or maybe just last month).  She's not coming back.  Do you really need to stop bathing, grow a floor-length beard, or sell all of your furniture and move into a box?  Do you think your brooding, crying, self-loathing and woman-hating is making you more attractive to the opposite sex?

Hit the reset button.  She wasn't your soul mate like you thought.  She was just a woman and there are billions of others.  Take it from me, you can be happy again, but not until you Let Her Go.

2.  Don't let the world know you are jaded

Want to listen to something funky?  Check out bibio:

http://open.spotify.com/track/7cXF6ZVxPFfIaTuHkfit7U

Ever since the 5th grade, I've been a sucker for Disco and funky dance music.  I can't remember the name of my music teacher, but she turned us on to the Saturday Night Fever album.  It was during our study of Beethoven, and she was wisely trying to bring pop culture into the conversation in order to make the subject relatable.  The soundtrack contained a lively disco instrumental of Beethoven's Fifth, and it was pretty good, but I was really interested when she played a little bit of the other tracks.

Speaking of funky, Tarynn and I saw the funkiest old man as we were walking into Duffy's this morning.  He was walking in ahead of us, decked out in in mint green from hat to foot, the whole package wrapped up in a full length, white fur coat.  If I had to guess, I would say it was rabbit fur.  "Now that's pimp," I said to her.

I didn't want to stare but I really wanted to study the details, down to his belt.  "Maybe you should ask to take a picture with him," Tarynn suggested.  I would have liked to, but he was a older black gentleman and I didn't know how he would interpret it.  While it's true that he did look like the stereotypical pimp from the 70's movie Superfly, I was actually in awe and impressed by his personal sense of style.  I wanted to strike up a conversation, but what if he thought I was making fun of him?

While waiting in line to pay for our breakfast I decided to say hello.  I moseyed up to him.  He was sitting alone at a table for two, a plate of eggs and toast in front of him, his fork halfway to his mouth when I said, "How you doing?"  His eyes looked up, a bit startled I think.  Up close I could tell he was older than I initially thought, maybe 70 or 80 years of age.  "Hey, I wanted to tell you that I really like your mint green suit.  That's really sharp," I said.  He nodded to acknowledge me and I retreated awkwardly back to the pay line.

And that was it.

I was first called a liberal when I called out a co-worker for using the N-word some 27 years ago.  Yet around that same time, I voted for Bush, a Republican, instead of voting for Michael Dukakas, the Democrat running against him.

While it's true that I've voted for the Democratic candidate in every election since, my views ebb and flow between the conservative, moderate and liberal.

So here are some of my current positions.  You tell me: Am I liberal or a conservative?

Gay Marriage

I previously supported civil unions and now support gay marriage for the same reason:  Marriage is a bundle of laws, and I believe that laws should be applied equally to every citizen.

Marriage may mean something to you based upon your religious views, but legally, church and state are separate.  The church ceremony has nothing at all to do with law, and churches should be free to marry---or not marry---anyone they choose.

Some believe that by legalizing "gay marriage," society will suddenly treat married gay couples exactly the same as straight marriages.  If that is the goal of gay marriage advocates, I think they are wrong.  You can't force someone to agree with your view via legislation.

Taxation

I'm not a fan of paying taxes.  Who is?  But I will typically vote for state tax increases if they improve my city.  I supported Vision 2025 and will likely always support capital improvements.  Look, the tax system is a system we're more or less stuck with if we want America to continue to be the country we were raised in.  I have no idea what an America without Government would look like, since my entire life I've lived in our current system.  And I don't hate it, so I don't support breaking it.

Equal protection under the law

I believe that all citizens of the United States should be treated equally, regardless of race, national origin, sexual orientation or any other category that we can dream up to separate us.  We're people, simple as that, and deserve to be treated equally and with respect.

Abortion

I'm not a fan.  I believe legal abortion should be available in the first trimester only, and that abortion inducing drugs should be readily available during that same time. Why are we still doing surgical abortions?  Don't we have morning after pills?  Why wouldn't you want someone who made a mistake last night to not deal with it tonight, when the fetus is not yet formed?

On the flip side, I think 3rd trimester abortions should be illegal. And that second trimester abortions should only be permitted in the case of medical risk to the mother.  Come on people, if you made it to month four of the pregnancy and haven't done anything about it...you should probably just have the baby.  In my humble opinion.

Gun Rights

American citizens should have the right to bear arms.  It's right there in the constitution.  And not for hunting either---such a day might come that we need to arm ourselves against a tyrannical government. Unlikely in the near future, but just in case, I support this constitutional amendment.

States Rights

The federal government is in a much better position to protect us, affect fiscal policy, and frankly do just about anything over the state government.  State government has been taking it easy for the last hundred years.  It's not a serious government. In other words, while I think it's good to retain some individual rights as a state, in reality the federal government is the king of this land.  If states had any real power, we'd still have Jim Crow laws in Alabama.

And I'm glad we don't.

Foreign Policy

I'm don't support the notion of the US being the policemen of the world.  We need to let other nations behave autonomously, and only get involved when threats are immanent.  I prefer diplomacy over war. 

---

Obviously my political views are limited, pedestrian, and I doubt I'll be taking telephone calls from heady think-tank wonks with questions about the economy anytime soon.  But I think what I think, maybe right, maybe wrong.

So to recap the question: after reading my views, would you categorize me as a liberal, a conservative, or a monkey from the planet mars?

It's a cold night in Tulsa, Oklahoma---too cold.  I'd rather stay in than visit Arnie's.  I come into the house and let the excited dogs out of their crates, say "Outside," and watch them race toward the back door.  They won't be out long.  In five minutes or less Henry will be barking to get back in.  In fact, I hear them now, the thumps of dog paws on the staircase.

Why do we have two Christmas trees up?  And before Thanksgiving no less?

I sit and type.  So much of my life I sit and type.  The ding of an iPhone in the dining room prompts me to retrieve the infernal device.  Henry barks, as if on cue, once, then again with impatience as if to say, "Hey, you son of a bitch.  Let me in.  Didn't you hear me the first time?"

It's Steve on the phone, sending me a text about taking the girls to see JT.  I text him, "I just dropped them off.  I'm back home bringing sexy back to my living room."

I rub my eyes and adjust my glasses.  Bifocals.  Not so handy when your head is hanging at a tilt, one eye looking through the top of the lens, the other through the bottom straining to see the words.

The iPhone beeps again.  Crap.  It's so much easier to type on this actual keyboard than it is on the little virtual keyboard.  Why can't everyone just use email?

Hey, if you know me: send me an email.  I hate typing on the little phone. I hate its beeps.  I hate its patented curvy corners.  I'm not 26 years old---I don't really want to text for any reason.  If you want to text, send a message to my daughter.

I pause for a moment to read the other tabs on my browser.  They read:

"bad reaction to waxing - Goo..."
"Blogger: Devin Venable - Crea..."
"Are You Allergic to Waxing? - Y..."
"facial waxing and allergic reac..."
"bifocals - Google Search"

That was me Googling bifocals.  I wasn't sure if there was a hyphen between the Bi and the Focals.

"Shut up Beatrice." I say, hoping to silence her gruff barking.  She quiets down.

The sink is full of dishes and I don't feel inspired to clean them up.  A little voice inside says, "Go to bed," but I know that I'm on the hook to pick the ladies up from Justin Timberlake in a few hours.  Man oh man.  I could just go to bed now, if only I could.  I'd better make some coffee.

I listen to Tupac, or at least I did today on the way home from work.  While listening, I had a daydream about writing my own rap song.  Then I remembered that I probably can't rap and that 45 year old white men probably shouldn't rap.  Then I reconsidered, thinking, why not?

I still don't listen to classical music or play golf, two things I've always associated with middle aged white men.

I still like sex, though I can go through longer periods of the day without thinking about it than when I was aged 13 through 44.  I'm pretty sure I'll always like sex, no matter how old I get.  Dirty old men get a bad rap...they're just regular men who got older.

I judge others less based on their religious views, political beliefs, quirks, conversational style and position in life.  This is a growth area for me.  In my 30's I got really worked up over political affiliation.  In my 40's I'm back to believing that people are people.

But I judge some more, particularly anyone who holds themselves up to be better than anyone else, is ridiculously shallow, or prides themselves on their ability to consume products and services.  Yes I'm talking about you stupid-guy-with-flashy-car-fancy-watch-and-overly-white-teeth.

I like to go to bed at a reasonable hour.  Why not?  I feel better the next day.

I don't know if God is real or not, but probably not.  I believe that there are things bigger than me that I don't understand, but I don't know that I'd label it as God.  Ironically, sometimes I still pray.

Only people matter.  Things are future garbage.

I know almost nothing. It would be great if I could say that after 45 years, I've got it all figured out.  But the truth is, I'm just a guy who knows a little, enough to live in our society, but not enough to be a guru, sage or preacher.  I'll tell you my opinion if you want, but I'll probably be wrong.  I'll tell the truth though---I'm not afraid to do that.  The older I get the more real I get.

I need not to forget this again:

Best resource I found here:
https://wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/PulseAudio/Examples#Pulseaudio_through_JACK_the_old_way

For UbuntuStudio users:
https://help.ubuntu.com/community/UbuntuStudio/ProAudioIntro/1204#The_Pulse_Audio_to_Jack_Bridge_-_using_both_at_once

PulseAudio and Jack working together

I woke up last night thinking about how comfortable I felt wrapped up in my blankets with my wife.  I thought about what it must have been like for my grandfather when he woke up at night with my grandmother in their little home in Ada, Oklahoma.  I wondered about my great, great grandfather before him, and for the countless generations before him and before the invention of the modern mattress set.

They're all me, and maybe some of you.  They're not the personal me, the me of my conscious mind, but nonetheless my life is their life.  My life is a continuation of their being through sexual reproduction.  If at any point in my lineage had one of my forefathers' life been cut short prematurely, before his opportunity to reproduce, I would not exist.

We're all unique, it's true, as our generics are a combination of two different lines of humans---lines that likely crossed many generations ago, perhaps many times.  But the resulting human, me or you, we are literally them.  Our traits, our personalities, our physical makeup---all born of lines of DNA passed from organism to organism for millions of years.

Sometimes I wonder if we overemphasize the importance of the individual human, the person we know ourselves to be.  After all, our consciousness is transient.  We live in one body so briefly.  It seems we barely have enough time to grow up before it's over.  In 70 to 100 years, we go from knowing nothing of the world to knowing much that a human can know before consciousness shuts off.  But, if we reproduce, we pass on the core of who we are, the recipe, literally the life, on to the next generation.

Some might argue that you pass on the blueprint only, and that each new life is "born", but I'm not sure I would agree.  From the moment my little swimmers left my body, they were alive.  The fought their way into an egg and from there life morphed and continued.  I have three kids walking the earth today carrying on my life force.  If I were to die today, this life of mine would be considered a success from a biological perspective.

So who are we?  Macro individuals or members of a micro collective?  Are we but mere vessels, an ark for microorganisms to ride upon through time?

And from a conscious level, how am I connected to my ancestors?  Is my consciousness an echo of theirs?  Do I have the same struggles as a distant forefather 1000 years ago?  Did his back hurt like mine does?  Did he have high blood pressure?  Did he struggle with depression?  Did he like spicy foods?  Did he lay awake at night, satisfied to be near his wife, wondering about what it really means to be alive?

This might be just about the only way to get decent latency performance out of midi (using external hardware):


devin@devin-OEM:~$ jackd --sync -Xalsarawmidi -dalsa -r48000 -p256

Or even more betta:

devin@devin-OEM:~$ jackd --sync -Xalsarawmidi -dfirewire -r48000 -p256

Starts up midi in raw midi and firewire for audio...still testing this out